we have internet!

Millions of things slip past your eyes all the time, when you're concentrating on just one thing, or being 'free-headed' as my old landlord Kenny says. I skimmed over faces in NYC, scanning for familiar ones. Consistency is nice, soft, and suffocating; tasting something new records the moment in your head, and it must be the best feeling in the world to realize that as it happens; trimming the vines that routine wraps around your eyes while they are closed to the complications that click and buzz and spark out- and inside of your head. Most of the time I'm floating, feeling secured by the love that is there, but not anchored by it, in a steady state, entertained here and there by replays of the best memories. I met a woman from Lesotho at an AIDS meeting in NYC, who said, "Thank you for leaving your beautiful life to do this." Beautiful and unruffled, but guilt sticks to the back of the cheap price tags and the trash I put out there in its various forms: the cost of this convenience and all of those rabbit holes to what is so horrible it must be hidden past what is immediate and before me now; I can feel the sadness starting from what I was only imagining before—

Last night we could see lightning from 20 miles away, flashing pink on the black clouds last night, while driving home from visiting new friends in the Drakensburg ('dragon lands' to settlers, and Ukhahlamba, 'barrier of spears' through Zulu eyes) mountains, beautiful pale blue and looming over golden grass fields and rough-edged acacias, a UNESCO World Heritage site. Phumzile, our incredibly hard working friend and co producer, has taken us everywhere to try everything, and know everyone. The past few computerless days:

Wednesday: arrived from Durban with Vusi, our very kind driver-translator-Zulu teacher-in-one; excellent home-cooked meal by Carol, the owner of the B+B, with an eye-opening discussion with workers from Broadreach and an engineer who are also staying here. As well as 2 big dogs, 2 very small siamese cats, and an African Grey parrot, who doesn't speak but whistles now and then.
Thursday: The new best breakfast ever eaten (insert everything good you can imagine here. And we'll be here for a few more weeks...!) Phumzile had meetings and the schedule worked out, set to begin filming on Monday(!). Met with the director of Worldvision, and her great two dogs (one looks like our old Malamute, Kooska), cat, and house, the second area we'll be staying in. Drove up to the hut of a traditional healer, held hands with his lovely little baby, and fished for familiar words to try and understand the conversation he was having with Phum—Cat, you would be so interested in her work, integrating traditional medicine with western, for a wider acceptance of both methods—and were offered coconut biscuits and Sprite. Watched the pink lightning that no camera is fit to capture, yet...

Friday: Phum brought us to an ARV support group meeting, where she moderated a discussion with the home based carers and their patients on local beliefs about sexual behavior and HIV transmission; over just the past few days the depth and intricacies of the problem have been revealing itself not little by little, but in huge gaping crevices that might make the film about twelve hours longer...this meeting might have been the heaviest realization of this; it's especially important to indicate that protection is still needed while on ARVs. I knew that it was hiding somewhere in a dark corner of my mind, the thought that extending life through ARVs could lead to more infections; but that had been far outweighed by the benefits of raising a child, living out a life. One person has died every day that we've been here.

On the beautiful side of life, everyone we've met has been warm and supportive. We've been fed enormous plates of chicken with rice and sweet boiled bread, mashed yams, and a sour corn porridge. I love how the huts rise up from the ground of their color, and have no dark corners, because they are round. No vinyl siding to distract from the main beauty here, which are these MOUNTAINS...

It's all become very real, and happening very fast...